School Choices, Pt. 2

After reflecting on “School Choices, part 1”, I realized my friend’s advice still echoes in my mind this spring even though we aren’t PCSing.

“Every child, every grade, every move,”  she had advised me.

My husband and I seriously thought about whether we needed to make any changes for either boys’ school in the coming year. When it comes to deciding how we educate our children, my husband and I remain hands-on, but pray a lot about how.

I was curious how other families decided on education for their kiddos each time they PCSed. So I interviewed a few friends who have a variety of experiences and age ranges of children. I was amazed at the range of answers among the three.

Meet My Friends

Megan Morgan is a mom of four. Two of her children started school a few years prior to COVID and these two experienced the ensuing shutdowns. She now has three school-aged children and has used three different types of schooling over the years. That tally does not include the period of remote learning through the public schools during COVID.

Jaime, a mom of four, only moved twice during the time her oldest were in school. She used both homeschooling and public schools. But the public school was different than most because it was dual language emersion model. It was very beneficial for her young son.

Alexis Anderson moved six times with her three school-aged children. She homeschooled in the fall of 2020 through the end of the 2021 spring semester.  She avoided the “unknowns” and provided a consistent school atmosphere at a time when schools dithered on what to do post-COVID.

Each of these military moms thought deeply about their children’s schooling. They considered their family values and needs as well as the children’s disposition and needs.

The PCS Factor

Megan just moved close to Washington, D.C. with her four children, including those in elementary school. They moved from a small, enclosed installation. So she was quite concerned about the size of the school and the surrounding community after they PCSed.

Megan noted that smaller schools tend to be easier for younger students to stay engaged, as well as allow mom and dad to keep an eye on “all the things”. The smaller communities also tend to align better with her family’s core values.

The big city meant she needed to intentionally seek out a school that matched those important values. Now her children attend a hybrid school that comes under “homeschooling” for Virginia law, but operates much like a private school.

Jaime noticed different modes of school work best for each of her older kiddos. The littles are not school age yet, so there will surely be new things to consider in the future. For Jaime homeschooling allowed her to build strong relationships with her children. The time together has been an unmatched and a good investment. She thinks sending them away for eight hours a day would only result in missing too many opportunities to connect.

But one thing Jaime does miss about their old public school is the Spanish emersion program “where her son really flourished.”

In military life we have to also consider the ease with which we can manage a school schedule while the spouse is deployed or TDY. Some like Jaime might say a homeschooling schedule is easier. Others like me would say the public school schedule is easier while the soldier is gone. It seems to come down to temperament, both Mom’s and kiddos’.

When I asked Alexis what factors she and her husband weigh for determining education for their children, she said they always start with researching all of the school options in the area where they will be moving. The results of the research greatly determine where they will look for a home. Sometimes it means dad has a longer commute, but finding the right school fit for all three children is a priority. Alexis has outlined some things they research and resources they have used. Please see the “Additional Wisdom” section at the end of the article.

Kids Needs vs Parents Needs

Something I noticed as the boys grew up was my willingness to give them a say in the kind of schooling they attend.  This year we briefly considered moving our middle schooler to homeschooling for eighth grade. While he was not adamantly against it, he was not sold on it. After some prayer and discussion, we decided to keep him in his current school.

I wondered if my friends’ children had a say in their education. To a certain extent the older the child the more input they had.

Megan, who has the youngest kiddos, said, “No. Maybe when they are teens.  At this point they seem to get with their friends in the neighborhood and compare the ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ points of each of their means of schooling.”

One of Megan’s kiddos wants to be homeschooled because his friend is finished with school in the morning which leaves the rest of the day to play. Fortunately, Megan’s children are pretty “go-with-the-flow” so they understand this is the way it is for the time being.

Jaime and Alexis said that their children liked their homeschooling time, but Alexis points to something I personally identify with-knowing my limits.

Alexis reiterates that their homeschool time was, “The best. It met our needs in very particular ways in that particular time.”

As I reflect on this, I again think, “Every child, every grade, every move.”
Or in Alexis’ case it wasn’t “move” it was “pandemic.”

I asked each of my friends if their faith was the driving factor in their schooling decisions.  Even though each one is a women of faith, the answer was “yes”, but to varying degrees. Faith is a part, for sure.

Megan said, “It influences my decisions, but it doesn’t mean [the school] must have a strict Christian world view.”

Likewise, Jaime said it was significant and Alexis said it was a consideration. But both said other factors like their children’s learning styles, goals and their own limitations play a role too. Alexis said they specifically select their home based on the school options best for their children. Jaime elects to homeschool during deployments because she finds it less stressful for their family.

Each family reported different pros and cons for their school choices.

Jaime put it perfectly, “Every option has gaps, as parents we get to choose where the gaps are.”

Jaime sees fewer gaps in the homeschool option.  Therefore she isn’t willing to give up homeschooling. For her the pros of curriculum choice, no test stress, no screens to dominate the day and ability to have first-hand input into the child’s character all day  outweigh the cons of the pressure on mom. 

Some of the cons to homeschooling include organizing the day, seeking out purposeful opportunities for her kids to interact with other children, helping kids “catch up” with technology if using a non-tech model of school, and seeking out sports groups for children in the upper grades.

But the inverse is also true for other schooling choices. As the parent, you get to determine where the gaps are.

Seek Wisdom

As we talked, the ladies provided a variety of suggestions to help parents make a school decision. Alexis gave me so many things to consider that I’ve included an “Additional Wisdom” section at the end of this article. The bottom line, though, is seek wisdom.

Listen to the families who have been there. Talk to your children and let their voices be heard. Even if you don’t do what they want, they will feel heard. Be flexible and know that needs might be different for each year for each child. And for people of faith, probably most important thing is to pray that the Lord will provide both the answers and the means.

“View yourself as the primary educator of your child,” Alexis said. “Whether you choose public, private, or homeschool, you cannot become the secondary educator. Once you’ve accepted that responsibility it’s very easy to advocate for your child’s needs, persevere through difficult school policies or personalities, initiate tough conversations and give yourself permission to do extensive research with your valuable time.”

Additional Wisdom

Megan, Jaimie and Alexis offer these bits of wisdom for parents going through a PCS schooling dilemma:

• Homeschoolers keep records. 

Keep key samples of work and create a report card or transcript for your child. 

Make sure you keep up to date with reporting required in your current state of 

residence.

No reporting needed? Make sure you research what is needed at your receiving 

state and have those documents on hand.

Some useful websites include your state’s board of education and the Home 

School Legal Defense Association’s website, specifically the link for military

families.

• Public and Private School

Keep records from schools.  Make sure your IEPs/ 504s are extremely specific 

and regularly updated. For current high schoolers hang on to course syllabi in

case you need to argue for credits once you understand the course 

progressions for the sending and receiving districts.

• Familiarize yourself with the Military Interstate Compact

education/partnership-and-resources/military-interstate-compact

and the extent to which it can serve you (also understanding what it cannot do).

• Utilize school liaison officers on the departing and receiving ends of your PCS.
• Talk to others who have been to that duty station and have firsthand knowledge of the area and schools.
• Consider what needs your children have.

Which needs have the highest priority?

Which school environment(s) can meet those needs the best?

What is my definition of success for them?

Who do they say they want to be (character)?

Alexis offered further insight on how they figure out where they will live based on school district:

• Proximity:

Will my children be geographically close to their peers for community building?

• Administration:     

Does the staff demonstrate care and concern for individuals? Judge this based 

on an impromptu trip to the school.  How are you received? Are they willing to

answer questions? Does it seem like the right people are in the right jobs?

If you can’t visit in person, you might be able to assess some of these things

from a call to the school.

• Structure and Content:

How does the school structure its school day?

What sort of non-core classes will they have access and exposure to?

• Access and resources:

What sort of funding streams do they have?

Are all teaching and bus driving positions filled? If not, is it because the wages

or work environment is poor?

• Curriculum:

How and what are they being taught?

Is there evidence of differentiation within the classrooms and in the school?

Is there access to curriculum benchmarks as an act of transparency?

• Reviews and Test scores:

Alex prefers niche.com as a resource for school comparison rather than other 

popular sources like greatschools.com. The latter have algorithms weighted

against schools for reasons that have little impact on student learning.