A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

Ande Flagg

Looking at my calendar, I remember thinking, “It’s just the boys and me. What are we going to do for Thanksgiving?”

We had been living at our first duty station for about six months when I realized I needed to start making plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Truth be told, I had already made plans for Christmas because my mom’s 70th birthday was in December. My dad, sisters, and I had been working on a surprise party. I would simply extend my trip for a whole month.

But the idea of Thanksgiving alone with two toddlers made me sad. If I didn’t do something special, it wouldn’t feel any different from any other day. Even in my sadness, I wanted to be thankful. I wanted to feel thankful. I wanted to model thankfulness to my children.

Ande Flagg/PCS Adventures

The boys sport matching Thanksgiving aprons.

Since my family was a 10-hour drive away, and I would be leaving two weeks later to see them, driving there for Thanksgiving wasn’t the answer.

I had new Army friends, but we had only known them for a few months. Was it ok to ask them if we could come over?

Maybe?

The Army Family

I played that scenario over in my head, “Hey, friend, can the kids and I crash your Thanksgiving dinner?”

What I didn’t know then, but now know, is that that’s how the Army family works. When you don’t have blood family nearby, we watch out and care for one another, including celebrating holidays, birthdays and even anniversaries together.

My friend lived across the street with boys nearly the same ages as mine. We became fast friends, sharing life stories on walks, encouraging each other, and sending kiddos to each other’s homes when one of us needed a break.

Fortunately, she knew our situation and asked the question, “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

YES! I didn’t have to pose the awkward question after all! It was an answer to prayer!

I had no plans. So, our Thanksgiving was going to be different, but it could be a good different. Not better, but good.

Thanksgiving Around the World

Tim and I had started running our own “Turkey Trot” on Thanksgiving mornings only a couple years prior. So once the boys were up on Thanksgiving morning, I buckled them in the double-stroller and ran (or whatever it’s called when I attempted to run while pushing 80 lbs of boys and stroller) 3.1 miles. I remember intentionally keeping our morning relaxed and talking about what we were thankful for.

Ande Flagg/PCS Adventures

One of the boys gets ready for a morning run with Ande.

At some point, we probably talked to Tim, who was in Kuwait. He had already eaten his Thanksgiving dinner with figurines of penguins and dinosaurs provided by the Kuwaiti DFAC (Dining Facility).

While the boys were taking naps, I talked to my family, who were gathered at my parents’. Then I made my dish for dinner (probably sweet potatoes and cranberries, I don’t remember).

I do remember the weather was incredible….

Finally, it was dinner time. Time to celebrate with friends, our new Army family!

Celebrate Being Thankful

As I reflect on this unusual Thanksgiving, instead of sadness, I remember the things I thanked God for that day. New friends… sweet boys…my husband was in a relatively safe place.

Sometimes our Thanksgivings or Christmases or birthdays or anniversaries look different from what we are accustomed to previously. Some families love traditions. Some people do things differently every year, even if they stay in the same place.

Brent Hofacker/Adobe Stock

Bringing dessert often wins points with your holiday host.

Whatever the case, on these “different” holidays, implement new traditions. For example, Tim ran a Turkey Trot too. So we both ran a 5k, just separated by 5,000 miles and 12 hours. Include your kids (if you have them) in helping to order your day. Ask your friends to be a part of your day. Offering to bring them dessert is always a treat!

Whatever holiday it may be, if it looks different this year due to a life event, PCS or deployment, I hope you find ways to feel thankful. Whether you take it easy and have quiet while you walk unfamiliar paths or fill your day with excitement and all things familiar, celebrate being extra thankful!